I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
