just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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