i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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