It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
