I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
