I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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