Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
