I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
