My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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