you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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