I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She told me I should be a condom model.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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