Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
