I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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