is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
