Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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