So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
