Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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