Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
