I smell stomach acid.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
