Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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