Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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