i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
