Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
His nipple licking is glorious
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