Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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