You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
