were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
