allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He passed out mid-signature
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
