I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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