So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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