Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
