party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Randomize
