i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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