Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You ruined the universe
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
