i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
A+ Viking dick
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
