i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
