FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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