what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
