Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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