It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need water and some morals
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize