I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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