he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
