...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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