im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
wow bdsm is so cute
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