is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The best revenge is premature balding
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
