this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize