this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
