Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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