My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
