He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
