I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize