yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
