is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize