He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
