we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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