Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
