I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
