It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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