This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
