I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
