Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
